About the album
Every year I put on a costume and, for one night, nobody asks why I'm a little different. That's the night I wanted to write about.
These are four songs about monsters who are wired like me. The host who loves the party until the doorbell won't stop and the lights get too loud, and says so, and the monsters actually turn it down. The ghost who climbs the same thirteen stairs every midnight, not because he's stuck, but because that's his calm. The mad scientist who forgets dinner, the clock and the whole holiday because the experiment is the best thing in the world, and when it works, his hands start flapping. Mine do too. And Dracula, who learned to be human from a manual, smiling on cue and counting eye contact to a thousand, until he notices everybody else is faking it too.
Dirty guitars, a cheap spooky organ, a bass that walks around like it lives there, and my own voice, cracks included. Nothing jumps out at you. Every creak and every bell lands on the beat, right where you expect it, because surprises were never my favorite part of Halloween.
Clean from start to finish. Turn it up, or turn it down. Both are fine here.
Songs
- One More Monster!
Lyrics
(Creak... click.)
Six invited, six little cards
Six marked places, six clean jars
Lights at half and snacks at eight
Perfect. Nothing left to fate.The witch came early, on my list
My broom parks left—I must insist
The mummy claimed the chair marked “three”
My bandages need symmetry
The ghost arrived at eight-oh-two
I only haunt in shades of blue
Three little labels, three correct
Exactly spooky. Much respect.(KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK.)
That knock is not upon my chart
The doorbell skipped the scheduled part
Is somebody waiting outside?
Not on the list—but come inside!One more monster at the door!
Was that six—or seven—or four?
¡Pásale! There’s always room
Otra vez—the count went boom
One more monster, stomp the floor!
One more monster at the door!The vampire led the last three on my list
I count each candle that I missed
The werewolf wants his crackers dry
No sauce may touch them. That is why.
The skeleton spins past his chair
My left foot dances everywhere
All six are here, each place is right
Now kindly start the frightful nightGuest one, guest two—hold that pose!
Step three, step four—there it goes!
Drum five! Light six! A perfect line!
(KNOCK-KNOCK.)
That makes... no. We lost it.
Start from the cobweb!
Count it crooked—back in time!One more monster at the door!
Was that six—or seven—or four?
¡Pásale! There’s always room
Otra vez—the count went boom
One more monster, stomp the floor!
One more monster at the door!The sound is sharp, the room too bright
The plan changed seven times tonight
I want you here; I need it low
Turn it down and dim the glow
Same wild dance, a softer light
Gracias. Now this feels just right.One more monster at the door!
Was that six—or seven—or four?
¡Pásale! There’s always room
Otra vez—the count went boom
One more monster, stomp the floor!
One more monster at the door!One, two, three, four, five, six... seven.
Count complete. We may now breathe.
(Silence.)(KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK.)
¡Pásale!
One more monster at the door!
Corners first—begin again! - The Residual Shuffle
Lyrics
Up on the hill where the tall grass grows
There's a house where the same wind always blows
And every night when the clock strikes twelve
A ghost comes down to be himself
(Tick... tock...)At twelve on the dot he comes down from the top
Thirteen little stairs and he counts every stop
He lights the one candle by the window side
Three laps down the hallway, a slow little glide
The neighbors all whisper, "He's stuck on replay"
But look at that grin—he likes it that waySame stairs, same light, I know every beat
I know where I'm going when I move my feet
Nothing to guess and nothing too loud
Just me and my candle, happy and proudSame time, same stairs, same candle glow
Do the Residual, here we go
Step, step, turn, and a window wave
Just like last night, the very same way
Round and round, and I love it so
Do the Residual! Otra vez!The witch floated over, the mummy did too
The skeleton rattled in, just passing through
The living all say you're a glitch in the air
Not a glitch—it's my groove, and I'm happy there
Could you teach us the steps? We'd like to join in
Sure—but we start where we always beginSame time, same stairs, same candle glow
Do the Residual, here we go
Step, step, turn, and a window wave
Just like last night, the very same way
Round and round, and I love it so
Do the Residual! Otra vez!Thirteen stairs—
Thirteen stairs!
One little candle—
One little candle!
Three times round the hall—
Three times round!
Wave at the window—
Hello, moon!
¡Ándale, from the top!
We do it all again!My left foot wants a brand-new spin
Can we change the step and throw one in?
Tonight's is the one that I know by heart
A new step's fine if we plan it from the start
Let's write it down for next Halloween
Then all of us know it before it's seen
Deal! Tonight we dance your routineSame time, same stairs, same candle glow
Do the Residual, here we go
Step, step, turn, and a window wave
Just like last night, the very same way
Round and round, and I love it so
Do the Residual! Otra vez!
Do the Residual! Otra vez!So if you pass by when the clock strikes twelve
Don't be afraid—he's just being himself
Same time... tomorrow.
(Otra vez... otra vez...) - Flap-Flap, It's Alive!
Lyrics
Two drops of moonlight, a pinch of stardust
Stir it to the left, 'cause the left's a must
Wire to the bolt and the bolt to the brain
Check it, check it, then I check it again
Hours fly by and I don't hear a thing
Just the bubble and the hum and the song they singOne more test, one more try
One more spin, don't ask me why
Round and round my happy brain
Back to the start and I do it againFlap, flap—it's alive!
Flap, flap—it's alive!
When I'm happy, my hands take flight
Flap-flap-flap in the lab tonight
Shake it out, let the joy come through
Flap, flap—it's alive! (And so are you!)Outside the window the kids trick-or-treat
The doc hasn't noticed he forgot to eat
I brought you a sandwich, I'll put it right here
Thanks, little bat—you're the best, never fear
I marked where you stopped, so you won't lose the thread
One bite for me, then back to the head!Flap, flap—it's alive!
Flap, flap—it's alive!
When I'm happy, my hands take flight
Flap-flap-flap in the lab tonight
Shake it out, let the joy come through
Flap, flap—it's alive! (And so are you!)Bubble goes the beaker—
(Bloop, bloop!)
Beep goes the dial—
(Beep, beep!)
Hum goes the wire—
(Hmmm!)
Flap goes the scientist—
Flap, flap, flap!Then the creature sat up and it blinked at the light
What are these bubbles? Can you show me how?
You want to know? You want to know now?
Tell me it all, every step, every part
You like it too? Let's go back to the start!Flap, flap—it's alive!
Flap, flap—it's alive!
When I'm happy, my hands take flight
Flap-flap-flap in the lab tonight
Shake it out, let the joy come through
Flap, flap—it's alive! (And so are you!)
Flap, flap—I'm alive!Down in the basement where the big wires hum
The light's still on, but now there's two, and they're not done
So we tiptoe up the stairs and we leave them to their fun
One more test, one more try
One more spin, don't ask me why
One more test, one more try
(One more spin...)
(One more...) - The Count Counts to a Thousand
Lyrics
Four hundred years in a castle alone
Now I want a life where the humans roam
I bought a sweater and a fake mustache
And a book called "Normal," which I read in a flash
I practiced a smile in the mirror all night
But the mirror shows nothing—so is it right?Lesson one, the handshake—firm, not too long
I held it for an hour. Was that wrong?
Lesson two, eye contact—count up to three
I counted to a thousand. They ran from me.Step, step, copy what they do
Human tango!
Hide the fangs and smile on cue
Human tango!
Laugh when they laugh, a second too late
Dip, turn, and imitate!I said to the barista, "Good evening, my dear"
It's ten in the morning. Why are you here?
I talked about weather, like humans all do
"Such lovely dark storm clouds! Not a sunbeam in view!"
I ordered the garlic bread, just to fit in
You're turning green, sir.
I'm fine! It's a very... human... grinStep, step, copy what they do
Human tango!
Hide the fangs and smile on cue
Human tango!
Laugh when they laugh, a second too late
Dip, turn, and imitate!Paso—
Paso!
Vuelta—
Vuelta!
Dip it low—
Dip it low!
And never, ever bite!
Never, ever bite!On Halloween night I walked into a hall
Vampires and witches and ghosts, one and all
They're humans in costumes—we all dress the part
You're pretending too? Then let's make a new start
Off with the sweater, the mustache can go
Show us your tango—the one that you know!Step, step, now I dance as me
Dracula tango!
Fangs out, cape out, wild and free
Dracula tango!
Laugh when I laugh, on time or late
Dip, turn—now you imitate!Same time next year, mis amigos... good evening!
It's sunrise!
...Good night!